"BE DETERMINED" - An Article By: VICTOR MMENDIE

We all are faced with different knock-downs of life. I've got mine as well.

These problems keep warring against our peace of mine. It keeps so enervated, gyp and downtrodden.

Whatever the issue is, we all have a reason to remain strong, dauntless and ever DETERMINED. Let's consider Six qualitative ways in which we can "BE DETERMINED" to face life's knock-downs and be successful.

 RISE UP FOR YOURSELF

There's been a bit of silence from my end for a while now. YES!!! It was indeed very necessary.

Sometimes, we work too much, forgetting that we have REAL PROBLEMS waiting at our doorstep to be tackled. I decided to put a halt on everything relating to work in order for me to be sane enough to sort out certain knock-downs, observe the world around me and give attention to the areas were adjustment is needed. I'm not scared to say that "I've got real issues just LIKE YOU KNOW YOU TOO GOT YOURS".

One big truth I've come to realize is that we are all on our own. No one will live their problems to attend to yours. Even the ones you stood by in their times of distress will log off when you experience certain issues. And then I ask myself, "WAS IT NOT THE SAME ME THAT STUCK WITH THIS PERSON IN HIS/HER TRYING TIMES". "Reality" answers, "OFTEN TIMES, THE ONES YOU STUCK WITH DURING THEIR PROBLEMS ARE NOT ALWAYS THERE WHEN PROBLEMS HITS YOU". Life is so unfair.

Hence, the breaking news is that I've grown so thick in skin and less perturbed about the unstable feet of a fickle man. So when I am opportune to help you through a rough patch, I don't expect you to stand with me during mine. It's called "LESSON". The more I live, the more life's lessons teaches me not to place my hopes high on humans, especially those to whom I rendered a good deed; expecting them to reciprocate in some sort of way. Often times, my help and support come from those that I never helped nor displayed any sort of good deed.

I've never been so disciplined, focused, determined and resolute like I've been this year. For the most part, this is one of the years where I know many stayed away from me, ran to their hills, stopped calling, abdicated me, never picked my calls, etc. In all of these, I smile and then laugh because it just tells me that when you decide to take your life more seriously, the wrong people just NATURALLY EXCUSE THEMSELVES BECAUSE THEY CAN'T STAND YOUR DETERMINATION. So when certain people leave you, let them go and gladly say, "YOU ARE DISMISSED". You'll also realize that they were part of the reasons why you didn't take the BOLD STEP you took now. They were part of the reasons you slowed your life with your own hands. So let them go. Bond with those who bond with you, share in your pain, cry with you, laugh with you, tell you the truth and never apologize about it and most of all, LOVES YOU UNHYPOCRITICALLY.

In all, "RISE UP FOR YOURSELF" because the truth is, NO ONE ELSE WILL.

NO BACKING DOWN

Everyone is experiencing some sizzling stings of life's inconvenience. We all are warring with different life's problems. You well know the particular foot in your shoe that hurts. And when I mean hurt, REALLY HURTS.

ALAS!!!! That one weak-kneed feeling comes knocking at your strength's door and whisper into your ears, saying "GIVE UP; YOU'VE TRIED ENOUGH". We all at one point have heard that weak-kneed voice especially when we are trying so much to achieve a goal and yet to no avail. That voice is YOU quietly speaking from within. This clearly means that the choice to give up or stand tall despite life's maelstrom totally depends on YOU. Nonetheless, stopping halfway in achieving your goal is even more dangerous than not starting at all. To illustrate: Supposing you were asked to travel on a journey to get a pure GOLD for yourself and on your way travelling, you encounter a very terrible storm in the middle of the road. Although, few minutes before the whirling storm, you were informed that where the GOLD is located isn't far-off any longer. Would it be wise for you to simply "GIVE UP" on continuing with the journey because of the whirling storm or even go back to where you came from? NOT AT ALL. Resilience will motivate you to keep moving slowly amidst the storm especially when you remember the great fortune that awaits you if you eventually get the Gold.

Along the same vein, YOU TOO CAN'T GIVE UP BECAUSE OF THE STORMS OF LIFE especially when you know that you are halfway close to your own Goldstone of SUCCESS. Keep moving even when it is "slow in pace". 'Slow' in this context does not mean doing everything at a snail's pace. It means doing everything at the right speed. In philosophy if you aren't moving at a snail's pace you aren't moving at all - because slow and steady often wins the race in this game of life. So even if your contemporaries seem to be moving on a faster speed than you are, "NEVER GIVE UP" - everyone's speedometer of life differs from one person to the other.  When you are fast-moving, you'll ghastly lose everything because you will not notice the bombs on the roads nor the cracks in the wall. However, if you are moving slowly, you tend to be more disciplined, can easily retrace your steps, and avoid possible pitfalls and GAIN MORE EXPERIENCE. So “It does not matter how slowly you go as long as you do not stop until you get your destination.”

Keep crawling, keep hopping, keep jugging, keep walking, keep running and keep up with whatever speed of your life. Someday you'll get to your destination of greatness so long as you don't BACK DOWN or GIVE UP.

STAND TALL & STAND OUT

Everyone close to me knows that I DON'T KNOW HOW TO FIT IN......I ONLY KNOW HOW TO BE ME AND BE DIFFERENT. I'm not the regular "BOY" or "GUY" and You know it. If I happen to stand in the midst of 10 young men, there must be a different twist of view towards my direction. It might be the way I talk, the way I walk or the way I move my body when I talk. YES!!! I know but trust me, THAT'S WHAT MAKES ME TRULY UNIQUE. I grew up warring against myself and there existed a big chasm between me and the world out there. As moments grieved into days and days strengthened into years, I had to own my uniqueness and not grieve against what "Society" thinks of me.

I don't know how "to pretend"; in fact I don't know how it's done. I only know how to act out my God-given script very well, which is - MY RARENESS. Candidly, being myself have taken me to places I never thought I could be.

We all possess distinctive attributes that makes us "stand out" among the crowd. However, sometimes we look into the mirror and what our minds projects to us is only our Achilles heels. Own your flaws, your weaknesses and change your thorns into roses. Accept yourself first with all your flaws because it is your imperfections that makes you truly unique. No one is perfect. Hence, we've got our imperfections and these imperfections truly COMPLETES US. Never let anyone stop you from being yourself. Search thoroughly within you and exude your uniqueness. Don't let anyone benefit from your uniqueness with your own consent.

They say, "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, JOIN THEM".

I say, "IF YOU CAN'T BEAT THEM, BE DIFFERENT AND THEY'LL JOIN YOU".

I tried mine and it's so working for me.

And like Albert Einstein says, "The person who follows the crowd will usually go no further than the crowd. The person who walks alone is likely to find himself in places no one has ever seen before." 

SO STAND TALL AND BE DIFFERENT.

FOCUS

 The term "FOCUS", is such a lonely word now and has become neither use nor ornament in today's world. Candidly, we leave in a world that is distracted, diverted and offlead. Even a goal-oriented person can be sidetracked if without self-discipline, determination and wisdom.

"FOCUS" is one of the nutrients that "DETERMINATION" supplies as they both work hand in hand to achieve a meaningful objective.

Materialism, fakery, sex, money, spurious friends, fleshly desires, competition, and other vices can make one to lose focus of the goal set to be achieved.

"Being focused" in this context means that you will not allow the distractions around you to cause a drawback on your quest for success.

In my earlier article, I made mention of our "individual speed of life" and how best to work with it.

Sincerely, it can be very discouraging and focus-threatening when you see people around you thrive in their lives, businesses and other facets of their lives. However, "FOCUS" won't be word if these things don't happen - that is when it especially comes to play. Look forward with a targeted view without faltering, staggering, looking sideways and drawing comparisons. Sometimes, it might also be that the people around you that is threatening your "FOCUS" by dint of their showy lifestyle is just a mere charade of complete FAKERY & DECEIT. While they are "FOCUSED" on threatening your own "FOCUS", be "FOCUSED" on attaining the goal set before you and see who will be the point of "FOCUS" later on.

Often times, the things that distracts us are very unimportant, petty and worthless.

Notwithstanding, we need to always alert our subconscious minds. HOW? Sometimes, we feel we are so "FOCUSED" when in reality we are not. We may tend to spend more time indulging in activities that will not add any sort of value to us; thus we lose out of certain opportunities in our lives.

Spend more time indulging in meaningful activities. Be OBJECTIVELY FOCUSED and not just FOCUSED. FOCUS on the right things and not on the wrong ones. Put every needless person behind you and always ask yourself, "IS THIS PERSON ADDING VALUE TO ME OR CONSTANTLY DRIES UP MY CISTERN". It is crucial you give attention to who you associate yourself with as he/she/they can either help you remain focus or make you lose focus.

So let's endeavor to remain FOCUS despite the distractions of life.

FACE YOUR FEARS

 Sometimes it’s a very helpful thing that keeps us from harm. But many times it’s an inner voice and barrier that keeps us stuck: that halts us from succeeding and achieving. That inner voice is called - "FEAR".FEAR is one the most dangerous feeling that humans can ever feel. It is also more of a "state of mind" than a mere feeling.

The mind is the most powerful force of a human being. As a person, whatever you feed your mind with eventually becomes your reality. For this reason, it is extremely crucial that we possess a courageous mindset towards life than a weak-kneed one. One way to overcome our FEARS is to first identify what our fears are and face them squarely. For instance, in the past my greatest fear was "FEAR OF FAILURE".It really gave so much anxiety. However, as reality beset me, I had to face my fears vehemently and exude myself so as to regain my lost peace of mind. Because I faced my fears, it helped me redefined certain failures in my life not as a curse but as a plus for greater success in the future.

Also, sometimes we allow others to project their own "FEARS" on us which is already a death sentence in itself. Sometimes, people tend to cast their extreme limitations on you and try to make you accept it as your reality. Never give in to them.

NEVER give in to your fears as they are toxic to our minds and can be damaging to you. Face your fears boldly and they'll become ingredients for your success. Educate yourself out of the fears that was educated into you. Keep transforming your mindset with the grease of positive thoughts and your fears will become your reverie rather than your reality.

BE A WINNER

The road to success is indeed a path filled with ballistics, bombs, rocky stones, tempests, travails, disappointments, rejections, dejection and pain. By dint of this truth, it requires a DETERMINED HEART to scale through it all. It's been a very educative journey of deep-seated words of courage and strength. I started this article stating the rocky stones I'm currently dealing with. Hence, my strength is reinvigorated when I encourage the people around me to keep pressing on intrepidly amidst life's stormy seas. Amidst RISING UP FOR YOURSELF, there's NOT BACKING DOWN, amidst NOT BACKING DOWN, there's STANDING TALL & STANDING OUT, amidst STANDING TALL & STANDING OUT, there's staying FOCUSED, amidst staying FOCUSED, there's FACING ONE'S FEARS.

After accomplishing, you are obligated to WIN and KEEP WINNING. BE A WINNER and never apologize about it. Being a winner is not until you are a given a medal, a trophy or even an award plaque. What makes you A WINNER is being courageous to face challenges and surmount them. The greatest medal that can be given to you is the one from GOD himself and soon he will. He understands your struggles and has got a time and date in mind to accomplish greatness in your life. You just keep up with the struggle, the hustle, the run-arounds and the DETERMINATION.

Sooner than you think, you'll gain the prize of Victory.

In all, BE DETERMINED and you'll succeed.